When it comes to divorce, a forgotten party is often the adult child of the divorcing parents. A divorcing couple may believe that their adult children will be fine with the divorce. That is not true. Children of all ages, even those who are all grown up and no longer living at home, generally struggle emotionally when their parents get a divorce.
Remember that your adult children will likely feel sad. If they have children of their own, they may feel like their anchor is gone. What will happen to the family unit? The same rules about divorce when you have young children are really the same for your adult children. Tips that will make it easier for your adult children include:
Be available to listen to your adult children’s concerns. Respond without bad-mouthing their other parent.
It may be very difficult for you. Things will never be the same. Your adult children still need to feel that their parents are their anchor. You are still their parent and/or grandparent to your shared child/grandchildren.
A counselor can assist you with dealing with your own emotions. A mental health professional has written a book called “Home Will Never Be the Same.” There is a section in the book about dealing with the holidays and how important it is to include the children in the discussion of how to implement the changes that will be in the best interest of the entire family.