When people get divorced, often their first thought is that they will not have to deal with their ex-spouse anymore. But if a couple has kids, that is not true. The two parents will have years of dealing with each other since they are both still the parents of their children.
The parents’ focus now shifts from husband and wife to mom and dad. It is helpful if they can think “team mom” and “team dad.” Co-parenting means that they need to communicate with each other and put their kids first, no matter how upset they may continue to be at each other. Contempt needs to be set aside and the primary focus should always be the well-being of the children.
How to Co-Parent Effectively
Good co-parenting means putting the primary focus on the children. For example, focus on:
- The children’s calendars.
- The children’s schooling.
- The children’s extra-curricular activities.
- Possession schedules.
- Doctor appointments,
- The children’s health and well-being.
Communication is key and needs to be inclusive. For example, if one parent gets an email from a teacher, that parent should forward it on to the other parent if it appears the other parent did not receive a copy.
If one parent finds out there is a school event involving a child, like a band concert or a dramatic play presentation that parent should make sure the other one knows about it.
A good co-parenting relationship is much better environment for raising the children. They are happier and more stable than children who have parents who do not cooperate with each other and who are often fighting.
Co-parenting also requires parents to avoid criticizing the other parent in front of the children. The children should never feel as though they must choose one parent over the other.
It is sometimes not an easy thing to do. We do have communication tools that can help.
Helpful Communication Tools
At Martinez Legal, we have some online tools that can help parents with co-parenting. Ask us about OurFamilyWizard, AppClose, and Google Docs. These tools can help parents keep their focus on the children.
Parents should always keep in mind that it is the children’s mental health and stability that should be given the highest priority.
For assistance with co-parenting questions or any other aspect of the divorce process, call or contact our family law attorneys at Martinez Legal, P.C. where we lawyer with heart.
As a founding partner of Martinez Legal P.C., Marci B. Martinez works with clients regarding their family law needs. She has extensive court experience, handling cases involving divorce, estate planning, adoptions, premarital agreements and private mediation for clients in Denton, the Dallas Metroplex and across Texas.
Ms. Martinez received her Bachelor of Science in human resource management from Arizona State University in 2002, Magna Cum Laude.
She earned her Juris Doctor from the Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State University in 2005. At law school, she was an Editor for the Arizona State Law Journal and the executive officer of the Christian Legal Society.
