Communicating with Your Spouse During the Divorce Process

Communicating with spouse

When you are going through a divorce, there is still a need to communicate with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, especially if you have children. This can be emotionally difficult but at Martinez Legal, P.C., we have some suggestions that may help.

Keep Discussions Business-Like

Approach your communications with your spouse as though they are business dealings. For example, you and your spouse will be co-parenting, and it is something you will do for the rest of your lives. It is easier for everyone involved, parents and children alike, if the communications are amicable. You need to discuss things like:

  • The children’s schedules. This includes when they will be staying at which parent’s house, doctor’s appointments, school schedules, extracurricular activities, and other events that pop up that need to be discussed and/or addressed. 
  • During the divorce process, what bills are going to get paid and who is going to pay them. 

The courts encourage good communication between parents. The more you can amicably communicate with each other, the less the attorneys need to be involved. This generally also means less court time dedicated to the case and less money spent on attorney’s fees.

To facilitate amicable communication, one suggestion is to communicate both orally and in writing, if possible. For example, if you have agreed on the phone that you will be the one to pick the children up after school on a certain day, follow that up with a text or email simply confirming that, as discussed, you will be picking the children up on the specific agreed upon date.

If the agreement was made via text or email, follow that up with a confirming phone call or voice-mail message.

Types of Messages to Avoid

Do not engage over the phone, in email, texts, or social media postings in name calling or threats. Those are in violation of standing court orders and can be used against you in any court hearing. Before you send any written message, post on Facebook or any other social media, or leave a voicemail, STOP and think: “What will the Judge say about this when he or she sees it?” Because the Judge will, in almost all cases, see it or hear it.  Therefore, you need to also treat your communications like a business transaction and ask your attorney questions before you put anything in writing that you may not be sure of. 

As always, we are here to help you with your unique situation.  At Martinez Legal, P.C., our motto is “lawyering with heart.” For more information about the divorce process in general, or specific information about how we can help you, contact us online or by calling 940.320.2992. We can arrange for an in-office social-distancing atmosphere meeting or an online video chat.