Preserving relationships after a divorce sounds like an oxymoron. You are trying to get away from the person, so why would you want to preserve the relationship? If you have children together, you will need to interact with each other for the rest of your lives. Co-parenting is a full-time job until children reach the age of majority. Life will be easier for you if you both if you can learn to be together in the same room without ugliness.
How to Preserve Your Relationship with Your Ex-Spouse
Studies show that it is good for the children if both parents show up for their events, like their sports, band, orchestra, or other special events. There will be graduations, weddings, and possibly the birth of grandchildren. It will always be in the best interest of the children, even when they are adults, if you and your ex-spouse can both attend these events and show solidarity and be cordial for the sake of children and grandchildren.
You do not have to sit beside each other to show solidarity but sitting in the same row shows the children that the two of you are a parenting team. You are still their mom and dad, and you are presenting yourselves as “team mom and dad.”
Some ways a positive post-divorce relationship is facilitated are as follows:
- During the divorce process, always be respectful. Be respectful when you are around the children.
- Be cordial to each other. It is nice if you can be together for children’s birthdays and other special events. Invite the same group you normally would.
- Establish boundaries and set expectations for how the relationship and controversies will be handled in the future. For example, think about how you will handle it if a family member becomes ill and needs help. By preserving the relationship, you can help each other whenever it is necessary.
Settling Out of Court Will Help to Preserve the Coparenting Relationship Post Divorce
Traditional litigation is an adversarial process. Litigation pits you and your spouse against each other in a way that is designed to have winners and losers. Settling out of court focuses on fairness and facilitates corroboration that will carry forward into co-parenting in a healthy way. You are each guided to decision-making that benefits, as much as possible, both spouses.
When you settle out of court, it is much easier to be cordial and leave the marriage with minimal damage to the relationship. You can learn how to co-exist as part of the new family structure.
For more information about how mediation or other alternate dispute resolutions can keep you out of court, call or contact us at Martinez Legal, P.C.
As a founding partner of Martinez Legal P.C., Marci B. Martinez works with clients regarding their family law needs. She has extensive court experience, handling cases involving divorce, estate planning, adoptions, premarital agreements and private mediation for clients in Denton, the Dallas Metroplex and across Texas.
Ms. Martinez received her Bachelor of Science in human resource management from Arizona State University in 2002, Magna Cum Laude.
She earned her Juris Doctor from the Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State University in 2005. At law school, she was an Editor for the Arizona State Law Journal and the executive officer of the Christian Legal Society.
