Why Should My Divorce Be Child Centered?

When parents divorce, they are often so caught up in their own disagreements that they let their emotions get in the way of doing what is best for the children. At Martinez Legal, P.C., we help our clients make their divorce child-centered.

A child-centered divorce can make a tremendous difference in the future of the child(ren). This approach reduces stress and anxiety resulting in a smoother tradition from the old way of living to the new one.

Children’s Concerns When Faced with Divorcing Parents

When children learn their parents are getting divorced, they are generally upset. This is not something they themselves chose. They all react differently. Some are taken by surprise; others believe they knew it was coming. No matter what the initial reaction is, they all have concerns about how this is going to affect them. They wonder:

• Which parent they will I primarily live with?
• Will they have to move or stay in the same home?
• Will they go to the same school?
• What about our extracurricular activities?

The parents will also concern themselves with child support and how supporting one home will now have to support two homes.

A Collaborative Approach is in the Best Interest of the Children

A collaborative approach works well. We can bring in children’s counselors to work with the children and then make recommendations to the parents and their attorneys. A parent facilitator can also be consulted. This helps the parents talk about possession schedules, extracurricular activities, and other things. The facilitator can help the parents make those decisions and come to co-parenting agreements.

In addition to helping the parents make good decisions for their children, it is important for parents know what not to do, for example:

• Never bad-mouth the other parent to the children.
• Be cautious and avoid talking about the other parent when the children are in the house or anywhere within earshot.  A child should never be subjected to hearing one parent criticizing the other one.
• Never ask the children to choose one parent over the other.
• Do not talk about the litigation with the children. That is even prohibited by our Standing Orders of the Court.
• Never include the children in text messages between you and the other parent.
• Never ask a child to deliver a message to the other parent. No child should be put in the middle of the two parents.

For help with making your divorce a child-centered one, call or contact us at Martinez Legal, P.C. We work closely with our individual clients and give each new case the personal attention it deserves.